Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

As the Obaman Latino Listening Tour continues to putt-putt and sputter along, the candidate clearly figured he had hit the jackpot by stopping by at the 25th-annual National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials conference in downtown DC.

Hundreds of brown people were there, and surely he must have thought, whew, I can save so much of my non-public funding by talking here instead of having to go all over the country and try to figure out what’s the difference between, say, Mexicans and Puerto Ricans, or Guatemalans and Nicaraguans.

Which of course explains why he referred to Brownsville, Texas, as Brownville, Texas. He was, after all, in Brownville. At least in his mind he was.

His crack Latino media outreach team, MIA as per usual, wasn’t there to correct him.

Okay, let’s see, which Democrat, especially on the House side, had their name on an immigration reform bill?

A) Nobody

B) Not a Soul

C) Nadie

D) All of the Above

And let’s see, which Democratic presidential candidate voted for a border wall?

Naturally, that doesn’t count on the campaign trail:

DNC Releases New Web Video:
“McCain vs. McCain: Immigration Reform”

Washington, DC - Following the debate on immigration reform that John McCain had with himself at today’s meeting of the National Association of Latino Elected Officials, the Democratic National Committee released a new web video called “McCain vs. McCain: Immigration Reform.” During this campaign, McCain has abandoned his support for comprehensive immigration reform to pander to the right wing of his Party. After adopting an enforcement-first approach that he previously said wouldn’t work, McCain even promised to vote against the bipartisan bill that bears his name if came up for a vote.

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I have barely had a minute this week to update everybody on the latest Hispanic happenings, because it turns out I DO have a life, so here goes our news sancocho roundup in bullet point form:

• Bill Richardson wants more aliens to land in New Mexico
• Hispanic representatives of Third World Country Miami want you to buy expensive gas

• Finally a Latino on PBS!!!!!!! and he is not on Sesame Street.

• Zero Rodríguez gets a sidewalk built!
• Bush had breakfast with the 3 Hispanics that still support him
• Hillary Clinton had lunch with Hispanics who all support her

Washington, DC – The Hispanic Local Elected Officials (HELO) will honor Henry Cisneros, prominent Hispanic leader and former secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development, on Saturday, June 28 during the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials (NALEO) annual conference. HELO is a constituency group of the National League of Cities (NLC). Cisneros will be honored during the NALEO conference’s Assembly of Receptions at the Renaissance Washington, DC Hotel from 5:00pm – 7:00pm.

Cisneros, a former mayor of San Antonio, Texas, and former NLC president, is one of the nation’s most accomplished and influential Hispanic leaders (AS LONG AS YOU DON’T ASK HIS MISTRESS AND WIFE!).

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Well in the midst of this 5-buck-a-gallon recession, we would like to take the time to remind you of the small, hardworking useless organizations that pretend to advocate for Latinos.

And now, they want to teach us how to spend MORE money drinking!

The National Council of La Raza Receives $250,000 for its Financial Literacy Efforts

As part of the Estamos Unidos con un Proposito(TM) (We Are United with a Purpose(TM)) campaign, Diageo, the world’s leading premium drinks company, donated $250,000 to the National Council of La Raza (NCLR) for their efforts in helping improve financial literacy among U.S. Latinos. Diageo and NCLR partnered to provide consumers with local financial education seminars free-of-charge and an informational hotline where consumers accessed financial resources including the campaign’s signature free bilingual audio CD.

“This partnership enabled our network of local organizations to expand their community outreach efforts and offer more financial education seminars during uncertain economic times,” (AKA don’t spend money on flor de caña during a recession) said Janet Murguia, President and CEO of the National Council of La Raza, the largest national Hispanic civil rights and advocacy organization in the United States. “This campaign provided Latino families with essential financial tools to help manage their money and build equity in this country.”

The donation to NCLR is a culmination of the We are United with a Purpose(TM) campaign, now in its third year, which assisted hundreds of Latinos to access financial education resources within their local community. After this year, the campaign, supported by Diageo brands including Buchanan’s(R) De Luxe Scotch whisky, Crown Royal(R) Canadian whisky, Johnnie Walker(R) Scotch whisky, Jose Cuervo(R) Tradicional tequila, and Tequila Don Julio(R), has invested nearly three-quarters of a million dollars to helping improve the lives of Latinos throughout the United States.

There you go! This is the equivalent of your drunk uncle asking you to borrow 20 bucks for another bottle of Cuervo. Salud, Raza!