Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

Speaking of Panamanians, there’s a little twist to that fracas between Colombia and Ecuador. First, let’s take youse guys up to speed.

If you’ve been otherwise occupied with the primaries, going to work, schlepping the kids around, watching t.v., making dinner, going to a bar, hanging out, sleeping, putting gas in the car, grocery shopping, visiting relatives, visiting friends, visiting the restroom, watching paint dry, making phone calls, downloading porn, or scratching your a**, you may not have heard about some mess down south, way, way down south. I won’t bore you with the details.

Suffice it to say Colombian forces crossed into Ecuador on some mission to blow up a guerrilla camp and they killed a guerrilla leader wanted by everybody, even that international law enforcement agency that sounds more mysterious than it really is: Interpol.

Anyway, no one is talking about how a scumbag got taken out in a freaking awesome shootout worthy of another Rambo movie. The issue is Ecuador is upset that their “sovereign territory” was violated, and they took it to the only place on Earth more useless than the United Nations and the congressional Democratic “leadership” put together: the Organization of American States, known to the hoards of Latin American windbags stationed in Washington diplomats by its initials in Spanish, OEA.

So all these Brillantina blowhards spent hours and hours and hours talking about what to do about the crisis, throwing around big words like border violations, sovereignty (a very popular word in Latin America), nationality (an even more popular word in Latin America) and of course, the Blame America First faction (most all of the OAS membership, except for the U.S. and a couple of other places) was in an orgasmic heat throughout the meeting.

So, after all these hours and hours of blah blah and more blah, and stealing some food ordered by the poor souls/journalists who had to sit through that crap, (YES the overpaid diplomats “stole” some of the pizza ordered by the press) the diplos decided to (ready with the drum roll, please!) approve a resolution saying every nation is sovereign (there’s that damn word again, don’t say I didn’t warn you), and they would meet again on March 17 to talk about a solution. Not come up with a solution, talk about a solution. How can I get a job there?

Anyway, here’s the Panamanian connection. The U.S. is studying whether it should equip Panama with sophisticated radar to monitor the situation on the border with Colombia. Apparently a lot of guerrillas like to hide there because it’s heavily forested (obviously no one has cut the grass since the U.S. left back in the 80s.)

What this means, of course, is that Panama-born Sen. John McCain is naturally behind it all.

At least that’s what the Democrats will say. Stay tuned!