Here you go, in honor of La Bloguera, in bullet form:
- OMG Bill Richardson came on to talk to the fake Peter Jennings on NBC about the nomination which he did not get.
- Here is the breakdown:
- Clinton: Oklahoma, Nueva Yol, Jersey, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Arkansas, and other boring white states except for Nevada.
- Obama: Georgia, Illinois, Alabama, Delaware and Connecticut. Now Utah, Kansas, North Dakota. Idaho, maybe.
- Romney: Massachussets. Duh. Plus a couple of other states. Oh, and yaaaaawn.
- McCain: ALL THE REST. NY, CT, NJ, OK…
- Huckabee: he’s nowhere near Latino as far as we know, so we don’t really care.
- Now we have Mel Martinez, our favorite Pedro Pan, because when you can’t find a white man, send in the Latinos. And guess what? Cubans DO love Central Americans! He hearts John McCain like, a lot.
- Mwahaha, says the Panamanian. Oh, and a random white lady called him Johnny.
- AND insider sources say that voting in NY is like playing the slot machines at Vegas. Except more bootleg and minus the showgirls unless Jamaican and Polish ladies that explain to young voters what they’re doing count as showgirls.
- Oh and the NYT has all these cool maps and graphics.
- Hillary took California AND Arizona. Now what did we tell you about Latinos and their feelings toward blonds??
- Everything’s too close to call! What is this, Mexico?
- CONCLUSION: The primaries, like telenovelas or revolutions, are eternal. Stay tuned, folks!
