Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

So if you didn´t watch it you didn´t miss much, except of course our live blogging from the kitchen. (which btw is NOT anywhere near Hialeah or that third world country of Miami)

Now in case you are an undecided voter, here is a summary in bullet form:

• The candidates successfully evaded most of the questions but in Spanglish
• As usual Jorge Ramos, who hates Hugo Chávez since he walked out of one of his lame interviews, had to ask about how much the candidates also hate Chávez, and they all do, Except for Ron Paul.
• All the candidates are for more border controls, virtual or brick, against undocumenteds, in favor of laws and sanctions…BUT in favor of all the good and honest immigrants whoever they may be.
• They are all in favor of more education, health care and marriage for Hispanics

Ok, enough of that, now to the real highlight… Ron Paul telling a bunch of Cubans in Miami that we should talk to Hugo Chávez and travel to Cuba…. Watch it here…

But apparently this Cuban supports him anyway…

AND speaking of Ron Paul, this dude tries to convince his familia to vote for him…

Turns out there is even a website for Latino fans of Ron Paul.. who knew?

Even more great highlights.

Despite having the highest concentration of Hispanic and African-American professionals of any other major city in the country, the massahs at the hometown plantation publication known as The Post have filled countless pages throughout the years with stories designed to scare the hell out of its white, suburban readership.

According to the Posties, us people of color are nothing more than gangbangers, druggies, dropouts, always preggers out-of-wedlock, absentee fathers, illegals, unable to speak English, bad drivers, drunks, and a menace to (white) society.

So it’s no surprise to find a ridiculous story in the Sunday travel section about a white girl who travels to Colombia, only to find that Colombians actually are people who do the same thing people here do — work, go out, have fun, pay bills, you name it. 

Under the heading: “Colombia: In the New Cartagena, Night Life Trumps Strife,” the white girl is SHOCKED and “disappointed” to find that not all Colombians are terrorists and/or rebels.

“What the hell am I doing in Cartagena?” Susie Whitegirl says, longing for the ”real” Latin American experience of Che Guevara lookalikes smoking unfiltered cigarettes and railing against el gringo, while sitting in a café surrounded by, you said it, starry-eyed Susie Whitegirls.

“Alas, warring rebels were nowhere to be seen…”

Hey Susie Whitegirl, how ’bout checking out Iraq instead?

On that same page, the Posties give us a bunch of overpriced suggestions (such as $500 CASHMERE travel blanket) on what to take when traveling.

‘Course the “traveler” pictured is actually one of their copy editors, who barely makes above minimum wage and probably wouldn’t spend $500 on a blanket.

But hey, at least he’s a brotha…

 “Oh, Lord, I, Abraham Lincoln, ask in this holiday spirit of goodwill toward ALL, that you forgive (Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani and all the other intolerants in my party) them, for they know not what they are doing.”

Thanks to real important news sources, check out some of the joyas that our most blogged about honorary cocos spouted out last night:

RUDY GIULIANI

On how to deal with undocumented workers already in the U.S.: “The first thing that has to be done is we have to end illegal immigration. … When we accomplish that, when we have control of our borders, when we preserve the legality of immigration, we can then turn to the people that are here. We can have them get the tamperproof ID card. The people that come forward can sign up. They can pay taxes, and then the people who don’t are the people who are really the cause of concern. Those people should be expelled from the United States if they don’t already leave.”

___

MITT ROMNEY

On how to deal with children born in the U.S. to parents who immigrated illegally: “The Constitution … indicates that those that are born here do become United States citizens by virtue of being born here. But if they’re born here from parents who come across the border illegally and bring them here illegally, in my view, we should not adopt, then, these chain migration policies that say, you’ve got a child here that’s a U.S. citizen, and the whole family can come in.”

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