Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

Yes it is that time again another Univision Spanglish debate!!!!!

AND just like last time, the questions are asked in Spanish, translated to English, then the candidates speak English and are translated into Spanish by anonymous male voices.

We start out with Jorge Ramos and Maria Elena Salinas introducing the candidates… so far John McCain, our possibly first Hispanic republican presidente, has received the most applause…

Where is Tancredo???? how can we bash immigrants without him…

AND now our first audio glitch… with Giuliani…. and he has the voice of a a gay puertorrican!!!!

Romney gets a deep male voice and doesn´t answer the question…

McCain has a nondescript voice to translate for him and says he saw some Hispanics on Thanksgiving

Thompson gets a high pitched Argentinian voice…

Duncan Hunter says something about Reagan and El Salvador and gets a bunch of applause

Now Ron Paul, with his usual the bridges are falling here while we are fighting in Irak (his translator dude can barely keep up with him)

Back to Giuliani and that hilarious gay guys voice who seems very happy to translate for him…

Finally!!!!! a question about immigration!!!! it only took less than 20 minutes

The candidates answers to the immigration question (why do you hate us?), is so convolute, the translators can barely find the right words in Spanish and keep making mistakes…

So now Jorge Ramos asks Romney about his relations with that landscaping immigrant…. he says his relationship with that immigrant IS OVER

Thompson, in that high pitched male voice he got, says we can´t have ALL of our relatives applying for immigration status…just wife and kids (first wife, second wife?)

OK, people i am completely bilingual, and I can´t understand WTF they are saying!!!! they are all saying they love immigrants and want to deport them at the same time, and we are a country of laws, and protect the border and let immigrants in…… NO ENTIENDO un carajo!!!!!

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OMG will there be no end? DHS has gone too far again!! Now Paddington Bear, the beloved white children’s classic of a bear found at Paddington Station in London is being asked to prove his legal documented status or be shipped back to Peru on his 50th birthday. Here’s proof from real news sources!

Paddington, the bear from Peru, will be arrested and interrogated over his immigration status in a book marking his 50th birthday.

Paddington Here and Now, due to be published in June 2008, is set around the bear’s home at 32 Windsor Gardens, Notting Hill, west London.

It will mark the 50th anniversary of his debut in A Bear Called Paddington.

Author Michael Bond, 83, who lives in London, said while the world had changed Paddington remained the same.

This will be the first book about the marmalade-loving bear to be published since Paddington Takes the Test came out in 1979.

Wait for it…

In the new book the bear, who arrived in the country as a stowaway, is interviewed about his right to stay in England.

He has no papers to prove his identity as his Aunt Lucy arranged for him to hide on a ship’s lifeboat from Peru when she went to live in the Home for Retired Bears in Lima.

When questioned, Paddington stated that he was only there to mow Mitt Romney’s lawn but got on the wrong boat…er, plane.

Check out the new thugged out P-bear:

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Latino groups that flip out when anyone advocates for showing photo identification at a voting booth apparently have no problem requiring it themselves for the few, the proud, the bored among us who would rather watch yet another godforsaken debate on a Sunday night instead of a football game.

Community members of the Latino voter registration drive Ya Es Hora Ve Y Vota had set up a viewing “party” at a law firm in D.C. to watch the first-ever Republican candidate forum sponsored by Univisión at the University of Miami.

One of the organizers circulated an email to a select few of Latino politico playahs telling them to provide the following:

1. Picture I.D.
2. Name and last name (that’s right! Name AND last name. In other words, anyone trying to get in just as “Papo” or “Tito” or “Rosita” would obviously not be allowed in).
3. Email (Non-techie politico playahs would be S**t outta luck)
4. Phone number
5. Organization you represent (Which means that y’all unemployed playahs stay away)

“We need this information of the (sic) every person attending in order to give it to the security guard of the building. The security in this building is very tight since it is so close to the White House,” the email emphasized. Please don’t forget to include all of it.”

(actually, the building is a few blocks away from the White House, but you know how paranoid the White House can be about Latinos in the vicinity…)

So there you have it. If you want to go out and vote, this group will defend your right to show up with nothing more than the shirt on your back. But if you want to go watch a debate about the elections, then you damn well better bring proof that you are who you are. A DNA sample would be ideal.

Oh, by the way, the ID-heavy viewing soireé got canceled at the last minute. Seems not enough people were THAT interested in sitting in an office on their day off…

So Mitt Romney, Aqua Velva man, claims he had no idea about the status of those people with accents that were working at his sanctuary mansion…. well one look at the job application and it seems obvious…

check it out

But wait there is more…

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