Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

Alberto Gonezales only HisPANIC mentioned….

And how can we forget 2006… seems like just yesterday… (Castro and Chávez only Latinos mentioned)

Unsurprising news of the day: most Latinos do not support Barack Obama, despite his boyish good looks or his awesome reggaeton beats (“como se dice? como se llama? Obama. Obama”)

The Pews and other serious news sources say the following:

1) Latinos recognize Bill Clinton Hillary’s name and have never heard of this Barack Hussein Obama fellow or of anything like that.

2) Hillary has launched a bunch of radio and TV ads aimed at our fellow brown (wo)man. Plus Villarraigosa hearts her, like, a lot.

3) In case you haven’t noticed, Latinos love to hate on blacks:

Over the last two decades, there has been evidence of growing hostility from Hispanics toward African Americans. Some of this hostility is the result of conflicts, or perceived conflicts, over politically controlled resources in cities and states. But as Tanya K. Hernandez, a professor of law at George Washington, has argued recently, it may also be a legacy of an older Latin American prejudice against blacks that has been transplanted to this country.

So basically Latinos hate blacks so much that they would not vote for someone not even based on immigration or political stances but based on the fact that they’re black.

Oh and not to mention most Latinos are already ruled by their mamá or la virgencita, so it’s an easy jump to Hilaria. Way to go, raza.

And we don’t mean la Ros-Lehtinen. We’re talking about being busaaay! This mamacita decidedly has more papacitos than all of Miami.

Woman’s nine charges of bigamy

The honeymoon is over for a 26-year-old woman in the US who is accused of marrying at least 10 times without a divorce.

Eunice Lopez was charged with bigamy after US immigration authorities in Miami discovered she had married 10 men between 2002 and 2006 without divorcing any of them.

Prosecutors say she charged her husbands an unspecified amount to help them secure immigration status.

A records search found seven additional marriages under the bride’s name and birth date, said The Miami Herald newspaper.

“I can tell you that none of the individuals she married had any type of residency,” said Terry Chavez, a spokesman for the Miami-Dade Office of the State Attorney.

Lopez arrived in South Florida from Cuba in 2002 and was a legal US resident (shocker!! a Cuban who was given legal status??).

Well we definitely salute a woman who is willing to put up with 10 men at the same time! Paciencia de santa! So Eunicita Lopez, this Bud’s for you:

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Even though we totally mocked a “survey” that came out last week saying that all minorities hate each other and are racist, apparently there IS much mistrust among us. (AND once again the French are to blame)

Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Deny Model’s Adultery Allegations

Tony Parker says he’s not a double dribbler. The San Antonio Spurs star and his wife, Eva Longoria, issued a statement Wednesday night defending their marriage against claims by a French model that she had an affair with Parker in September.

(Notice the NCLR in the background)

“I love my wife,” Parker, 25, said in the statement from Longoria’s spokeswoman, Liza Anderson. “She’s the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier.”

“Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband,” said the 32-year-old actress, who stars on ABC’s “Desperate Housewives.”

Of course we are not here to speculate that a sports star would ever cheat on his wife…. but… check out the model…

We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: if you want the job done, send a messican to do it. Remember the Simpsons paraphernalia craze that happened after the movie? Last summer our local bodegas got turned into Kwick-E-Marts that sold Krusty-O’s and Homer donuts. And, as many of us were disappointed to find out, neglected to address our alcoholic need for Duff. Well, not no more! If you live in Mexico, that is:

Homer Simpson inspires entrepreneur

Cartoon character Homer Simpson slakes his seemingly insatiable thirst with Duff Beer, a fictional brew from the hit animated series The Simpsons. Guadalajara entrepreneur Rodrigo Contreras actually produces the beverage in real life, using the familiar one-syllable name, simple lettering on the cans and bottles - and a red, white and black color scheme.

Contreras, 28, scooped up the rights to the Duff name for Mexico and the rest of the world, spare the United States and Australia, where a brewery launched a beer under the Duff brand a decade ago, but ran into legal problems. His company, Duff Inc., currently sells the beer in Spain and plans on launching the lager in Mexico on July 16.

Look, there’s even something for the mini-alcoholics in our many familias!

Figuring children might be anxious to get their hands on Duff too, an alcohol-free version will also be made.

Never doubt that if you need it, Mexico will have it. Faster, and a little more openly corruptly than us. Salud!