Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

In this Hispanic Hysteria season, let us take a moment away from hard politics to focus on the only election that really gets people voting: Hispanic American Idol!

A new discovery via the internets refocuses on the eternal dilemma of who can shake their bom boms better: gringos or Latinazos. You be the judge. Alan Garcia and W are standing by.

And that was before the tequila shots at the White House too. Ayayay! Clearly Latinos and gringos that can half-assedly speak Spanish are too hot blooded to escape the pull of the dance floor. Can’t…govern…must…first…shake….pechugas!

AND you thought crossing the border was hard… try getting in to the White House on Hispanic Heritage Day.

So while a few select guests listened to legendary musician, Israel “Cachao” López (highly recommended by this blog), at the Rose Garden Hispanic Celebration moment this week, the Mexican ambassador, Arturo Sarukhán, was nowhere to be found.

In case you didn´t know, the Mexican ambassador, whoever he may be, is a fixture at ANY Bush White House Hispanic event, which basically means Cinco de Mayo and Hispanic Hysteria Month ceremonies which consist of a Bush speech with a few words in Spanglish, and whoever Emilio Estefán can convince to come play at the White House.

WELL, this year due to what the Mexican embassy calls an “internal White House communication” problem, when the Mexican ambassador, and those of other Latin American countries showed up, all dressed up to see Bush, they were denied entrance, because they didn´t have security clearance!!!!

In his speech, Bush who usually calls the ambassadors by butchered name and country, and thanks them for coming, could only come up with this:

I appreciate the members of the Diplomatic Corps; I appreciate the ambassadors coming. We’re proud you’re here. Thanks for taking time.

According to our non-binding sources, the ambassadors got all hot and bothered when they were denied entrance and left, and headed over for a few drinks at the Old Ebbitt Grill. The White House later called the Mexican embassy to apologize.

BUT no need to worry the Panamanian and Colombian ambassadors got in (think upcoming free trade agreement) AND best of all, our favorite ex-attorney general Alberto GONEzales was there in the front row and got much applause from the Bush Hispanics present.

I appreciate my friend, my dear friend, former Attorney General of the United States, Al Gonzales.

Full transcript here (corrected because Bush massacred Cachao´s name)