Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

Well, it’s time to eat some humble pie. Here I have been complaining that my Mexican brothers and sisters are being unfairly targeted by Herr Highness of Hysteria Michael Chertoff over at the Department of Homeland Insecurity when it turns out he’s been right all along!!!

A new report by the Drug Enforcement Agency has found that Islamic extremists in the United States are not only partnering with Mexican drug cartels, but they are also POSING AS HISPANICS!!!!!!

So of course the Chertoff plan to arrest all the Mexicans makes perfect sense. I’m so sorry I doubted you.

Mil disculpas!

Okay, so Barack Obama, this maverick of a candidate that is gaining popularity with his holding hands together to end partisanship hippie crap is facing a problem with la raza. The problem?

La raza is not so down with blacks. We’ve talked many a time about the awful and BIG problem with Latinos and the racism that is rampant in our community (I mean, Eva Longoria is constantly in ridiculous whiteface, not to mention the rest of the Latin ladies with the brown skin and crazy unmatchingly blonde/red hair), and when it comes to politics, Latinos are (shock of all shocks) less likely to elect a black man. ¿Que pasa, raza?:

Obama Seeks to Make the Sale to Hispanics

“The Hispanic and black elites may be singing ‘Kumbaya’ together. But at the neighborhood level, they’re duking it out,” says Paula McClain, a Duke University political scientist who studies black-Latino relations. “Obama needs to understand the nuance and not assume a broad-brush coalition” between them.

Ms. McClain and other academics say Hispanics have negative stereotypical views of blacks. Generally, Hispanics feel they share more in common with whites than blacks, says Ms. McClain. “In a primary contest, one has to wonder how a Latino electorate will feel about voting for a black person.”

There is precedent for African-Americans and Hispanics combining electoral power. In the 2005 Los Angeles mayoral race, many black leaders disenchanted with white incumbent James Hahn threw support to Antonio Villaraigosa.
The Mexican-American candidate won on the promise of bridging the city’s racial divide — with support from the African-American electorate. But, “it wasn’t a black-brown unity election,” says Jaime Regalado, executive director of the Pat Brown Institute for Public Affairs at California State University, Los Angeles. “It was a sign of displeasure with the incumbent.”

So what is a brother to do in these situations?

In Miami, Mr. Obama introduced a jingle to woo Latinos, a percussion-infused “reggaeton” tune in Spanish with a refrain to pump up his recognition: “How do you say it? What do you call him? Obama. Obama.”

We’re still holding out for the Bachata Obama with Juan Luis Guerra.

The last time we checked in on Michael Chertoff, our own Highness of Hysteria was busy checking with his intestines to gauge terrorist activity.

Fast forward to the current dog days of August and his Department of Homeland Insecurity’s need to get some sort of attention, now that Congress has — at least until after Labor Day — stopped talking about the Mexicans.

Turns out the feds are trotting out some new rules as early as today that tells employers to fire workers they can’t verify as being there legally, or face fines and lord knows what else.

This measure is coupled with what Chertoff and the rest of Bushies say will be stepped up raids to root out the illegals.

Of course, any business that “cooperates” (whatever that means!) with the feds will not have to pay any fines.

If they time this all right, there will be just enough raids to entertain us for the remaining weeks of summer, leading to the mid-September report on “progress” in Iraq, when surely some troll in the conservative talkradio circuit will tie all this terrorist activity to the Mexicans.

The plan is genius!