Adventures of the Coconut Caucus

Yes… in case you didn’t know, John McCain was born in Coco Solo, Panamá, Central America. (a.k.a. Coco Solito). This accident of birth, according to the Panamanian Constitution (article 9 section 1) makes him a panameño.

AND according to the U.S. official Census definition of “Hispanics”, anyone who was born in Central or South America can be a Hispanic.

As our expert readers know, “Hispanics” or “Latinos”, can be as white as Cristina, as black as Sammy Sosa, as cuban/australian/irish/black/italian etc as Soledad O’Brien or as Japanese as Alberto Fujimori.

Even though we haven’t seen McCain’s Census form, we assume he designates himself as white guy, but we can always claim him as Hispanic, just as blacks claim Clinton.

Regardless, there is still the nationality question and the presidential thing.

OBVIOUSLY he is a U.S. citizen, because of his parents nationality and that jus sanguinis thing in the U.S. Constitution, but is he considered a “natural born” citizen? (which is not the same as “native born”).

And can a Panamanian citizen be presidente of the United States?

I know what you are thinking, McCain is a zonian, and was born in an area officially invaded by the U.S. military at that time. However, despite all of Roosevelt’s aspirations, the Panamá Canal was never U.S. soil, even though it is considered a former unincorporated territory.

(And since you asked: Puerto Rico is a territory with “Commonwealth Status” and even has a pretend Congressman in Washington, something the Canal Zone, never had.)

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