Chertoff, Tired of Scaring Immigrants, Wants to Scare Everybody
Since I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, let’s foment mass hysteria…
Department of Homeland Insecurity chief Michael Chertoff, (who every day looks more and more like a French maitre’d,) decides to bypass the intelligence community and checks with
his “gut” about the chances of a terrorist attack this summer here
in the states.
The gut says “maybe,” “not sure,” “could be,”
promptly House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to propose eliminating
the CIA and the NSA to save money.
“From now on, we will check with our guts. It’s much cheaper,” she said. Chertoff
agrees, and establishes the Office of Gastronomic Acidity.
The terror level will be based on how much a gut grumbles, ranging
from pink for a calm gut to firehouse red for grumbling that
can be heard by others.
President Bush calls the plan “damn
good” and orders himself to take a few days off.
Vice President Cheney, who is not due to come up from from hell until
Friday afternoon, was not available for comment.
AND yes you can count on the mass old media to totally cover this story non stop for days…
Themocracy
[...] You’ve driven me back to my laptop to ask why, if you have to feel uneasy about impending terror, while looking like Jafar from Aladdin and wearing your hair in a way that’s just plain unflattering, do you have to talk to Congress all the time? You’re wearing out your welcome. Some people never can turn away from a train wreck, so who can blame The New York Times for waiting for your next one? Do you really want to keep getting headlines such as “Chertoff Tired of Scaring Immigrants, Wants to Scare Everybody” to be your legacy? You can do much better. [...]
[...] Que merde! French Maitre’d Continues Crackdown on Immigrants By La Neta The last time we checked in on Michael Chertoff, our own Highness of Hysteria was busy checking with his intestines to gauge terrorist activity. [...]
[...] Who would have thunk it? Rocks are the new terrorist threat. Someone call that French Maitre D’ dude and have him raise the threat level to brown. This entry is filed under Main, Orgullo Hispano, Ticatecla. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Leave a Reply [...]