Miami Prepares for Hurricane Fidel Castro
Oh wait, Miami doesn’t actually prepare for hurricanes, they just prepare for the FEMA claims (because FEMA does work in Florida)
Despite the fact that Fidel Castro has outlived a long list of U.S. presidents and countless Little Havana haters, and despite the fact these days everybody in Cuba lives past 100, third world country Miami’s leaders have decided to start planing now for a great homage to the Cuban leader upon his untimely real and absolute death.
Tired of the impromptu street celebrations in la Calle Ocho from all the other times Castro died, they are planning a super bowl party.
The event, still in the very early planning stage, would be held in Little Havana’s Orange Bowl stadium — and might include commemorative T-shirts, a catchy slogan and bands that will make your hips shake.
City Commissioner Tomás Regalado, a Cuban American, came up with the idea of using the venue for an event timed to Castro’s demise.
”He represents everything bad that has happened to the people of Cuba for 48 years,”
Regalado said of Castro. “There is something to celebrate, regardless of what happens next. . . . We get rid of the guy.” (Dude: don’t you realize that just the thought of a party in Miami will keep Castro alive at least 3 more decades???? and that thanks to Castro you all get automatic visas and can feel superior to Haitians????)
When the still-unnamed panel met for the first time last week, Castro’s death was nowhere to be found on the meeting agenda. The meeting was officially — and ambiguously — advertised under the title, “Committee Meeting for an Event at the Orange Bowl.”
Its purpose, according to the city’s website: “Discuss an event at the Orange Bowl in case expected events occur in Cuba.”
The article goes on to say that, despite their common wish of death, there is a growing division between Castro haters on this topic.
Now I have no idea what the plan is if Castro goes into a Therry Schiavo like state or if that would be considered absolute death by Jeb Bush.
And of course we expect that all Cuban caucus members will be present, especially Fidel’s nephews.
And yeah speaking of Miami….
Themocracy
[...] I guess he won’t be invited to this party. [...]